Today I found myself sucked into an ancestry site and found out that the man who has defined my life since 1977 died on 1986
He was in my life for 8 years, not as long as my dad, and yet has dominated so much about me and my life such as confidence, self esteem, self worth
I had suspected he was dead but hadn’t realised he only lasted 4 years after mum
It is bad to be glad I have proof he is dead
I wish I had known sooner
I feel anger that I wasted so much time trying to deal with the hurt he caused me and my mum
I want to find a hill and scream loudly
He was in my life for 8 years, not as long as my dad, and yet has dominated so much about me and my life such as confidence, self esteem, self worth
I had suspected he was dead but hadn’t realised he only lasted 4 years after mum
It is bad to be glad I have proof he is dead
I wish I had known sooner
I feel anger that I wasted so much time trying to deal with the hurt he caused me and my mum
I want to find a hill and scream loudly
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